We present ourselves as the perfect family, boys all dressed in matching clothes and Mom and Dad dressed in their Sunday best. We are well educated and have good jobs and people look at us and think we have it all together and we seldom allow the village to help.
I have gone through two beautiful babies who didn’t sleep at all. My beautiful Dylan hated the world except for mommy and did not sleep more than 20 minutes at a time, he almost broke me! But we still smiled and said no to help and dressed in our Sunday best never missing a step – the village seemed very far away when I was suffering from extreme exhaustion !
My Matthew came next and turned us upside down, I paced the floor with him for hours while he screamed and refused sleep. We faced new concerns and worries and this time I couldn’t hide the cracks that sleepless nights were making, this time I said Gary I’m so tired I need to sleep! It was a strange feeling to allow people to help. It started with a birthday party when I was going into hyperdrive and couldn’t see how I could get everything done – my sister asked me did I need her help and instead of saying that I was ok I said, yes I really need help!
As parents starting out we live in this beautiful bubble, we look at our babies and believe that we will protect them from everything that the world can throw at them. But what happens when you can’t protect them?
I have found through this journey ( I hate that word!) that some people can actually help. I have to admit that some people have a lot of opinions that I don’t want to hear ! But some people have words of widsdom to whisper.
Over time I have realised its not the village that raises the child. We have grown with the support and advice that we have received from friends and family.
So I have revised that old saying – it does not take a village to raise a child, it takes a village to raise its parents.