I am in a fog the last few days and my heart is heavy. I am trying to pick myself up, but today it seems the fog is thick and today I am tired.
My week started off on a high, our Physio has been away for the last few weeks and I could not wait to see her to tell her Matthew was crawling. I had spoken to her on the phone during the week and she was so excited to see his progress. Myself and Gary walked into our appointment like two of the proudest parents, Matthew preformed on que and crawled around the entire room and then coasted all along the furniture, he did us proud. We all looked at him like he was the most amazing child in the world, and the Physio clapped in excitement and said he was brilliant, I was on cloud nine.
I don’t know what I expected her to say, maybe that he was cured? I really don’t know. She said six months ago she didnt think that he might walk, that she had had serious concerns, that today she thinks he will walk… but this is just one hurdle. She said his core is week, his back is arched, his feet aren’t grounded. She said he’s brilliant, that he’s working so hard but there was much more work to do. I had been so excited about seeing the Physio, maybe I hyped it up too much, today I am in a fog,
We have been so focused on one goal, to get him crawling, and we are there! I can’t tell you how at peace I have been the last few weeks. But I think I forgot that crawling was just one hurdle, one step closer and we have so much more work to do.
We are Matthews champions, every step of the way we will fight for him, encourage him, drive him and teach him. I can hear the advice in my head ‘ Crystel, this is just one goal, take each step as it comes, put realistic goals in place’. But today I am tired, today I want a miracle, today I want peace.
Tomorrow is almost upon us and tomorrow I will get up and get dressed, I will put my makeup on to cover the dark circles under my eyes, I will put a smile on my face and go to work. Tomorrow we have a new goal, getting from kneeling to standing and I don’t have time for this fog, I don’t have time to be tired as we have mountains to climb.
Matthews Miracle 
“Crystel, this is just one goal, take each step as it comes, put realistic goals in place” –
On the information you received you put, what some would consider an unrealistic goal in place, but, you have worked hard & have achieved a break through, you have now reset your goal & will work again & keep changing until you achieve what you are content with.I firmly believe that your positive attitude shown to all challenges to date will be evident to Matthew & that he knows that Mom, Dad & family are working just as hard as he is.
LikeLike